Muslims in Cumbria: Guilty until proven innocent

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Cumbria Police sergeant Jonathan Sizer went straight to the top with his plan to halt Al Qaida's Cumbrian terror cells.

He presented Kirkby Lonsdale Town Council with advice for residents hoping to stop Osama bin Laden in his tracks.

Sizer asked locals to report any sightings of "young Asian males" so they can be checked out as "Muslim terrorists".

In a later clarification (due to either the brave boys in blue wishing to cast the net wider, or perhaps the PC brigade striking once more) Sizer's colleague, DCI Lee Johnson of the criminal intelligence department, said that in fact all males spotted should be reported - "extremists do not have to be of a certain appearance".

Fortunately, according to local rag the Westmorland Gazette, DCI Johnson "confirmed that large groups of women were not under suspicion".