Duchess on the retreat

Issue section: 

Sarah Ferguson donated ten days of her life to visit and sort out Manchester's Northern Moor housing estate for ITV's The Duchess on the Estate.

"Young people go out with their mobile telephones and their knives now. I've noticed a lot more violence. I've noticed bad language," she reported. "I inspire people to get on and do things by rallying the troops. I'm an enabler."

Locals, however, were less than thankful. One resident of 25 years told the media it made the estate look like "the worst area in Britain to live... It's a very, very, very safe and lovely area for families with children."

The downbeat duchess subsequently threatened, "Perhaps this will be the lesson to me to never do another documentary in this country."

She may not have fixed "Broken Britain", but if that's a promise, she'll make lots of people very happy.