Aristocrap: the royal wedding

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With the impending wedding of well-known aristocrats William Windsor and Catherine Middleton, it's a shame that other events took priority in this month's Socialist Review.

Thankfully, the more patriotic end of the media spectrum is keeping the nation informed with all the important developments - such as the Daily Telegraph headline last month: "Kate Middleton tosses pancake in Northern Ireland".

Weddings are expensive, so some people are tempted to cash in on the big day - people like Middleton's family.

As the official royal wedding website points out, Middleton's parents own a mail-order business called Party Pieces. The "Best of British" section of the company's website sells everything you'll need for a right royal street party. Items include the "Britannia" scratch-card - which, at £3.99 for a pack of ten, would be a bargain if any prizes were offered.

It may be a time of savage cuts, but the future semi-royals are surely grateful for the £100 million taxpayers can be expected to pay for their big day. The website also sells themed cupcake cases printed with the words "Let them eat cake". Themed guillotines were not available from the company at time of press.