Pat Stack

Not that I've been keeping count, but it is 16 and a half years since this column started. By my rough calculation that means that this is the 182nd column I have written. It is also the last.

All good things must come to an end, and when you've been doing a column as long as that there is always the danger of staleness, lack of new ideas, or sort of repeating successful formulas while on autopilot. I hope I have avoided that, but feel the time has come to stop, so I have decided to hang up the word processor.

The events of the last few weeks in Iraq have been shameful, appalling and tragic, but are a complete vindication of the arguments put forward by those of us who thought the war could only lead to untold misery.

Ever since the crowds welcoming the 'forces of liberation' by tearing down statues quickly melted away (and they were always much smaller then the 'sexed up' pictures on the telly presented), it was clear that the occupiers were not being seen as liberators.

The tabloids have been full of it, the eyes of the world have watched aghast, everyone is talking about it, but here - for the first time - one of the couple tagged the 'text bombers' tells us exclusively about the affair.

Stack on the Back: Tony, can I ask you how the affair started?

Tony Blair: It was funny really, because when I first met him I hardly noticed him - I was very much in love with Bill at the time. But as you know, Bill walked out of my life and there was this void, and suddenly George was there.

Hostage tragedy, hostage farce. That was the only way to describe the antics of the last few weeks.

Despite the appalling treatment that has been dished out by the US towards the hostages at Guantanamo Bay, the British tabloids have been happy to carry any old hogwash the US State Department may throw at them about those recently released British citizens. They were all Taliban and Al Qaida according to the Sun, relying directly on US information issued in retaliation for those hostages describing the horrors of the camp.

I find there are few things quite as enjoyable as watching a smug, arrogant bully having the smile wiped from his or her face. Imagine then the pleasure I‘ve had seeing a collection of smug, arrogant bullies watch in amazement as their apparent hour of vindication was greeted with indignation, disbelief and downright hostility by all but their most ardent supporters.

For that has been the tale of the shower of New Labour cabinet ministers and spin doctors, ever since the establishment lackey Hutton produced his repo... er, whitewash.

Political correctness has gone mad. How else can you explain the BBC's beastly treatment of Robert Kilroy-Silk, the devastating early retirement of Lieutenant Colonel Tim Collins and the fact that Richard Littlejohn is considered a loud-mouthed moron.

Usually my Xmas combines the following: overeating, which usually involves half a turkey, a whole Christmas pudding, and god knows how many mince pies; wild drinking sessions involving huge amounts of Guinness and crates of Irish whiskey; or romantic interludes (well, drunken lunges) under the mistletoe. This year, though, the new reformed me spent much time in the cinema looking for likely Oscar nominees. Here are my tips:

How cruelly ironic that within days of Michael Howard's elevation (if that can possibly be the correct term) to leader of the Conservative Party the story should emerge of Joseph Scholes, a 16 year old boy who hanged himself last March at an institution for juvenile offenders.

Joseph's crime was to steal a mobile phone. He had offended before, but this was not the key thing to know about him. Far more important and relevant was that he was a sexually abused and deeply disturbed youngster who had a history of self harm.

You've been with the professors
And they've all liked your looks
With great lawyers you've discussed
Lepers and crooks
You've been through all
F Scott Fitzgerald's books
You're very well read it's well known...

When I first became a socialist one thing that I never signed up to was knee-jerk anti-Americanism. There was a lot of it around on the left. There were all those who had a love affair with the USSR. For them everything Russian (from show trials to forced collectivisation) was good and everything American (from Hollywood movies to rock and roll) was bad.

I never bought into this. The glories of Stalinism simply passed me by - I could not equate socialism with this stifling, oppressive, undemocratic and rigid world behind the Iron Curtain.